Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
