I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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