Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
