But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize