the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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