two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
