too bad you live with your parents still
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
