let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Come share oat with me in your robe
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