I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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