i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
