worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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