I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Found your dick twin last night
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
