I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
