just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
