First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
