She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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