My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
