Its about making memories worth repressing
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
