The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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