We won't sleep together?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
