Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
