Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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