if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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