so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
