whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
