her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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