So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
you win again, gameday.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
