I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
