I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
