so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
