the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm at about main and main street
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
