i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
