he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
