i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
