I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
