If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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