it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize