hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
