I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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