it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
