glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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