I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
