every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
