stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
