sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I would fuck him just for his dog
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
