k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
