Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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