3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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