great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
