I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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