fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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