Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
