Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
