And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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