id be glad to
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
