Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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