She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
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Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
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Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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