I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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