She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
