drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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