To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
