I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he shaved USA in his pubs
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
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