saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize