ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
