exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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