i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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