Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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