and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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