You work out of a Hotel?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
