Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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