She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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