I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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